is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
