i jhust puked up my retainher.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Can you repeat that, but with context?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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