apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Randomize
