After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
