He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
