one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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