is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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