I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
