she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Houston, we have a squirter
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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