i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
