Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
