clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
