I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
