I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
