It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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