I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
