I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
