she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
