you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
