Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
