ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
