I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
