Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
