What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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