How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
