Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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