so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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