: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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