if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
