so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
