We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
