No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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