Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
