You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
