Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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