Dual....:-)
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He's on the porch naked. Help.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
