i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
