So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
