is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
