how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
