I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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