laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
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