Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
