okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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