i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
