she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
