Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
you win again, gameday.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
