dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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