I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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