whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
How drunk are you?
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