Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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